When Hiei awoke, I had been asleep, resting my head on my arms as I napped away uncomfortably. He had awoken me with a grunt of pain. He had been trying to move one of his digits, which wasn't working and only bringing more pain to him. We said nothing, but stared at his injured left hand. They were heavily bandaged, pus and blood staining the wrapping I had done a few hours ago. There was not as much blood as there had been two days ago, when Hiei had first arrived. With the help of Yukina, strange herbal concoctions were made to speed up the healing process. When we had slathered it on, it only caused a reaction, spewing darker blood. The swords had been laced with a rare poison, making it hard to heal the wounds.

"Give me my sword," Hiei said, his voice raspy, startling me. I looked at him now, noticing for the first time his appearance. His eyes had lost their luster. They no longer bore into my soul and make me look away. They were dull, the fire in them low. He was thin, the lack of nutrition and loss of blood to thank for it. His cheeks were hollow, giving him a near death look. His hair stuck to his forehead, a cold sweat breaking out. His lips were dry, and he licked them. As the sun peeked out from behind a mass of clouds, I could see how pale he was now. His face had no healthy glow. He lost that two days ago.

I had forgotten his true personality. Hiei didn't let anything set him back, not even if his hands were badly damaged. He doesn't listen to anyone that doesn't have something of interest to say. His whole life revolved around fighting, and becoming stronger. "You're not ready to hold-"I began, but he cut me off, his newfound voice cracking as he said his demand louder. I had also forgotten that Hiei never cared what I had to say much. I stood then, reaching towards the table nearby and touched the sword resting there. I hesitated, and he gave a sound of impatience. I took hold of it then, with both hands. Its weight was heavy. I placed it on his lap, and then turned away, staring out the window.

I knew I wouldn't be able to bear seeing it. There was a strangling noise. I watched the winds blow against the trees. The weather was warm and tranquil, the wind balanced out the warmth. I had left the window open to let the breeze inside. Hiei hissed sharply, cursing under his irregular breath. Leaves swayed back and forth. They were a healthy green this time of year. They looked almost friendly, despite the vial creatures Genkai kept in there. I could hear him pant. Leaves began to fall when the wind picked up. They fluttered slowly to the ground, almost like snow, twirling and spinning until they rested on the green grass. I wrung my hands together, waiting and watching, eyebrows knit tightly together. I was tempted to turn around, but I could not. Although Hiei did not say it, I was not allowed to watch him. It was a silent order on his part. The sound of a sword hilt being grasped did not come next, but a scream. The wind stopped, the last of the leaves danced to the ground, and the sun disappeared behind a swarm of clouds. I closed my eyes. It had been a scream of fury, anger, and madness. I did not face him until he finally said, "Turn."

I did so, breaking into a gasp of horror when I saw his hands. Blood soaked digits, wounds opened again. He gave me his hands, looking at his sword as I undressed them and wrapped them again. He did not say anything, sweating feverishly through stress and exhaustion. I took hold of my kimono sleeve, wiping it. He swatted me away with his hand, wincing visibly. I continued anyways, he didn't do anything else.

"We've come to a conclusion, Hiei," I said quietly. "Your wounds are serious-" He snorted and I continued, "And they may not heal thoroughly. We've gotten the best healers we have to see you, and they all agree that maybe you shouldn't-"

"What?" he asked quietly. The spark of life gleamed in his eyes, flashing dangerously.

"Lord Koenma agrees-" I said quickly, keeping myself away. He gave a look of outrage, "Hiei, you have to think about your health-"

"There's no reason to think about it if there's nothing to live for!" I stopped, looking at him breathlessly. He had jumped up on the bed, towering over me. That did not last long, however, as he sat down slowly due to feeling faint. Despite his yelling, I helped him back into the bed. I wasn't sure if I could continue staying in the same room with him if he kept injuring himself, but he seemed worn out. I stood by his bed side, thinking for a moment.

"What about Yukina?" I asked quietly. He lied there, saying nothing for the longest time. His mouth parted and moved. My ears barely picked up the words he was saying.

"Not even she can live if I can't protect her," He looked at me then, waiting for me to persuade him into giving up, challenging me to fight his decision.

I had forgotten his sword was all Hiei had. If he lost that, he lost everything. I know we never talk. He insulted me often, I ignored it. We never see each other unless it's work related. He wouldn't help me if I asked him to. I can never find him when I need him. Yet, when I looked at him, in such a state he would call "humiliating", I know I can't leave him be. I almost began to miss the old Hiei.

The ladies were sitting quietly when I came to tell them of the good news. The others had already awoken, but still at bed rest. They had enough strength to manage for themselves, only needing the girls' help if they were bleeding or feeling feverish. They were pleased with knowing that Hiei had awoken, but they already seemed to know, since Hiei had yelled particularly loud.

"I thought he would still be ranting though," Keiko said thoughtfully, picking at her sweets, "How did you manage to calm him?"

"I didn't," I replied, taking the sweets Yukina offered me, "He wore himself out."

"Do you think he'll just let it be?" asked Keiko. Both Yukina and I shook our heads. Keiko did not stay around Hiei as much as we had to, so she didn't know who he really was.

"He's going to train," I answered. They didn't seem to be surprised at that kind of answer, but they did doubt it. They thought he'd give up after a while, like a fish dying on land.

"How can he do that?" said Genkai with a snort of ignorance. She was saying what the others were afraid to. "His hands are too damaged to attempt such a thing."

I cleared my throat, standing up. I had stayed too long; my patient was still a threat to himself. I thanked them for the sweets and tea, taking a few along with me. I was forgetting something though, something I was forgetting to tell them. "He can do that, Genkai," I said, a hint of determination in my voice. They looked at me, questioning. "He can do it, because I've decided to help him." I turned around, carrying the tray with me as I disappeared into the hall, leaving the silence behind me.